Sunday, April 7, 2013

Roommates: The Kelley, The Ashley, & The Ashleigh

Now almost two years of college complete, I’ve decided to share my big epiphany with the world: There are three types of roommates. Obviously there are some that are better than others so I’m going to give you the rundown (if you’re currently in college or looking to go off to school in the next couple years) so you’re prepared and it doesn’t come as a big surprise.

The Kelley: The Kelley is to put it nicely, not such a good roommate. On the surface, she is a great person, but underneath she’s actually horrible person to live with. The Kelley can best be described as one of your best friends (or just friends) from high school that you so ignorantly decided it will be amazing to live with. Yeah. Don’t do that. There’s a reason people tell you not to live with your best friend. Sure, in some cases it can work out wonderfully, but The Kelley is a perfect example as to why you take a big risk in doing so. Living with The Kelley is great for the first semester, then after that all the ugliness shows through. The Kelley is full of excuses. She gets comfortable and decides its okay to leave her crap ALL OVER. She lets the trash overflow instead of taking it out. She talks insanely loud and yells at her video games at 1 a.m. (when you’re trying to sleep). She’ll cook and run the dishwasher only after midnight (for some odd reason). She will incessantly complain about gaining weight (this is after eating at 1 a.m.) and yes she actually does gain some weight. She will then proceed to walk around without a shirt on. Be warned, The Kelley may or may not start partying and develop what could be considered a teeennsy bit of a drinking problem. Also, questionable morals. It’ll get to be ungodly overwhelming. The Kelley is a type of roommate that only those with high, high, high, high levels of patience can tolerate. I mean either that or you obviously have a super power as yet undiscovered and marketed by Stan Lee, in which case, you’re epic.

The Ashley: The Ashley is the roommate that you did not know at all before living together. She may be one who got stuck as the odd one out in her group of friends and just needed a place to live, but that’s okay. When it comes to cleaning up after herself, The Ashley gets an A+. That is because she is always in her room. Whenever she dirties a dish, she puts it in the dishwasher. She is quiet and respectful of other people and what they’re doing (unlike The Kelley). Basically, The Ashley is a great find in a roommate. However, there is a downside to The Ashley. Since she is so quiet and never talks, you feel awkward talking to her. This Simpsons GIF perfectly describes conversations with the Ashley. Awwwwkward to begin. She may sit in her room with the door open while you’re out in the living room but she’ll never come out and sit on the couch, which is fine. It’s just that The Ashley isn’t a big socializer. The worst part of The Ashley is finding out after living with her for a semester that you have so many things in common when it comes to books and you have a “WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS!?” moment. I suggest that if you have The Ashley as a roommate, you make an effort to get to know her because you never know how freaking amazing she will be.

The Ashleigh: You won the lottery if you get roomed with The Ashleigh. When you first begin living with The Ashleigh, you have no clue who she is. You may have talked to her on Facebook a little bit before moving in so you know a bit about her, but still. The Ashleigh is a foreign thing or rather person. Who is she? I’ll tell you who she is. She becomes your best friend. But not the cliché “OMG BFFs!” from high school. I’m talking about the lifelong friendship sort of best friend. The living together-ness starts off quiet and shy. You don’t really talk that much about anything besides the basic everyday stuff. But as the next semester comes, The Ashleigh becomes your confidant away from home, someone you can complain about life to, and someone that you can have awesome times with. She’s the best. She has the same interests as you (meaning she may or may not be completely and totally obsessed with books). She shares your interest in attractive accented people and will join you in the creation of a Pinterest board titled “WHY ARE YOU SO ATTRACTIVE!?!?”. With The Ashleigh you have events like Accent Tuesday or Taco Friday. The Ashleigh is someone who is great to live with. In the end, she knows you like you’re family and you her. After everything, she’s the roommate that you will choose to live with after your stay in on-campus housing. Then, she’ll take dorky pictures of the lease signing for your apartment with you. If you get The Ashleigh as the roommate, you are one lucky mother. Courtesy of my real-life Ashleigh, she tells you: "BEEEOTCH I'M FABULOUS!"   

Please remember that this is just an overview of the various situations that you can find yourself in. It's always best to remember not to freak out if you get stuck with a bad roommate. There's ways to work through roommate issues and those involve communication. Roommate-ness is a relationship like any other and the key to that is communication. And with that I leave you all with my wisdom. You're welcome.

Love & rockets,


  1. I totally walk around without a shirt on. Or pants.

    but I also live with my boyfriend, so I think that's okay. I mean HE doesn't have a problem with it...

    1. Haha yes that is fine! The Kelley is more of a walks-around-without-shirt-on-and-engages-in-party-"flings" sort of roommate.